What Ties Us Together

A curious phenomenon has taken place. Strangers, who first came together on the Internet to discuss the Phil Spector trial, then went on to an unhappy private message board (previously discussed in earlier posts), and then fleeing from that nightmare, have found real friendship. Not lifelong, agree-with-everything-you-say, practically siblings' friendship, but real friendship nonetheless.

It's fascinating that so many have coaleced the way we have in this short time. It was that trial for the unnecessary murder of Lana Clarkson that brought us together. It was the terrible non-outcome that kept us focused on the injustice of a mistrial, of a hung jury that was caused by one rogue juror and eight others who couldn't make a dent on his concrete - or contrarian - mind.

We are from everywhere - east, west, north south, the middle of the country and Canada too. Big cities, small towns, urban and rural. We are politically and religiously disparate; we have various levels of formal education; different levels of incomes. We are a true snapshot of free-thinking individuals.

Medicine, insurance, sales, law, entertainment, farmers; there are full-time moms, grandmothers, and retirees, at least one person has returned to school, one is looking for a new career, and some are retirees.

There are many issues we don't all agree on and some that aren't really discussed much at all. Occasionally someone will mention attending church or praying or not believing in anything, but for the most part, we are all mature and smart enough to have made our own spiritual choices . We don't feel the need to foist our personal beliefs off on other people.

Politics do come up, inevitably in this primary season - or would that be this primary decade. We represent a broad canvas of opinions and affiliations, and there is one uniting feature: not one of us seems to be happy with anyone or anything currently offered in the political arena. There may be some who hold out hope for this country, but many of us have been too repeatedly disappointed, angry, and disenfranchised to feel that way.

Only today we were having a discussion about this, and as posters dropped in and out giving their perspectives and opinions, it became crystal clear that all of us are worried about the future of our Nation. Even if we disagree on the solutions, we respect one another, and each individual's outlook and beliefs.

The uniting factor, the real glue that binds us seems to be the desire for a lawful society, a society of justice that protects, and when appropriate makes sure criminals are punished. We are also bonded by anger at the inequity of a system that seems to favor the defendant over the victim. The mere allowance of a "defense" consisting of denigration and marginalization of the victim is simply unacceptable.

We wonder how can it be right that a real human being, who once was flesh and blood, loved and needed by others, is now viewed as last week's news ad yesterdays trash.

The Phil Spector defense team tried best to muddy the truth - and only intermittently succeeded thanks to a no-nonsense judge - to turn Lana Clarkson into a cliché of an aging actress who couldn't deal with the passage of time or lack of success. Nice try sleaze artists!

We utterly reject your efforts. Lana Clarkson was a vibrant, beautiful, smart, caring woman, a working actress, who struggled with the same challenges that affect us all. Who doesn't doubt their own level of success, who doesn't reach forty without getting a shiver of what lies ahead? Who doesn't get sad or overwhelmed or lonely from time to time?

Lana Clarkson paid with her life for not knowing who she was dealing with. Not knowing this creepy, evil little man was capable of total disregard of life for his own convenience or pleasure. This cataclysm should not have happened. It also should not go unpunished for these five long years.

There is no conclusion to this blog entry - these are just my thoughts on a rainy afternoon. I marvel at the way this group has come into being and continues to keep rolling along as various issues and events come and go. This is a safe, smart place. It is comfortable to voice an opinion. There is mutual respect, courtesy and honesty here. As a group we are remarkably articulate, and both very funny and very kind. And more than anything else, we are ethical. We are who we are, say what we mean, mean what we say. There is no pretense, no deceit, and no underlying agenda.

I wonder what Lana Clarkson would think if she could see what her tragic death has set into motion? This is one time I wish I believed in an hereafter, because I would love to think that somehow she knows how an amazing group of strangers found each other and continue to honor her spirit. Thank you Lana.

Ambition and Technology – Sew High a Price

Trial Bloggers vie for position in the trial gallery, assuming their self-important bloviating will be validated by where they sit, who they speak to, and who may deign to acknowledge them.

One Blogger jostles positions and draws attention with false friendliness and advice for the technically challenged in this brave new kind of courtroom.

Reported: The Judge smiles at the Blogger. Twice!

Reported: The Blogger hears that the Prosecutor is following the Blog's observations closely. It must be true because he walks into Court daily with a huge smile and wink directly to the Blogger.

Reported: The Defense team assigns a monitor to the Blog and the Message Boards for ideas on tactics.

How much of this is real? Impossible to know since much of it may be rumor, and friendly greetings may be just that – friendly greetings to a familiar face.

Reported: Families of the victim have asked not to be bothered by anyone, but they are in close contact with the Blogger away from the scene. There is a measure of comfort in the support for them that the Blogger reflects an honest mirror in a sea of misdirection. When the Blogger is banned from the Message Boards the family is bereft at the loss of those postings. They now have to rely on the Blog alone.

Reported: Dominick Dunne seems to accept, even enjoy the Blogger's camaraderie.
Also reported by someone who was an actual witness to events: "Dominick Dunne did not have any interest in the Blogger. He actually used her from time to time as an unpaid gopher. It was not buddy-buddy as you might be led to believe."

Reported: Jurors seek out the Blogger after the trial to correct a wrong impression.

If a Blogger can make you "believe" will it not feed the feeling of importance that Narcissistic Personality Disorder craves?

It's all going so well. The Blogger ascends the ladder, moves to the back row, where the "up-to-the minute reporters" sit with BlackBerry's and laptops. Sitting in the coveted – and in this curious world, reported on - back row, the Blogger's ambition is fulfilled. Prominence, recognition, the right to preen.

As the testimony happens, the Blogger is on the spot. The readers will get the scoop immediately and direct. The readers respond, "You are the BEST!" They hang on every word, share thoughts and feelings about every observation.

Interestingly, another crime is taking place right there in the Court.

What would law enforcement, prosecutors, jurors, and families on both sides think if it was revealed that the Blogger's sudden technological ability, this in-the-moment reporting is due to an associate devising a way for the Blogger's new Wi-Fi connection to be stolen from a provider?

And if the Blogger is willing to resort to that kind of dishonesty, how much of what they have reported and will report can be believed?

From Imaginary case-within-case files: Theft is reported and the Blogger is escorted from the gallery of the murder trial to face criminal charges of a different kind. Read on if you think this is impossible.

Tapping into Other's Wi-Fi Can Get You Arrested

Have you ever been someplace besides your home or office with the old laptop in hand and attempted to "sniff out" a Wi-Fi access so you can get online? A hotel, a coffee shop, the doctor's office, the airport, or even Courtroom? Well you better be careful in the future, because apparently stealing tapping into a Wi-Fi connection that you do not have authorization to do so can get you arrested.

Michigan resident Sam Peterson was arrested after he was caught repeatedly stealing Wi-Fi from a cafe. Mr. Peterson was arrested under a Michigan law barring access to anyone else's network without authorization. The complaint reasons that since the cafe's Wi-Fi network was reserved for (paying) customers and Peterson never came into the cafe, he was essentially piggybacking off of the open network without authorization.

From the original story:

The arrest came about because Peterson apparently showed up to the Union Street Cafe to use its free Wi-Fi from the comfort of his car, and he did so every single day. A police officer grew suspicious of Peterson and eventually questioned him as to what he was up to. Peterson, not realizing that what he was doing was (at least) ethically questionable, told the officer exactly what he was doing. "I knew that the Union Street had Wi-Fi. I just went down and checked my e-mail and didn't see a problem with that," Peterson told a reporter.

Peterson's actions could result in a five-year felony and a $10,000 fine. Ouch!

It's very lucky for Peterson that prosecutors don't plan on making an example of him. Instead, he will have to pay a $400 fine and complete 40 hours of community service. I wonder if the amount of Internet access he stole borrowed comes close to the fine and hours he has to put in?

So next time you decide to tap into someone else's Wi-Fi connection, better check and see what the law says about it. Oh and if you do it, better not brag to people you intend to crap on either.

As Sir Walter Scott observed, "Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive."

The word deceive implies that the deceiver knows that what he/she is doing is wrong – immoral or illegal. Replace the word deceiver with the word Blogger and think about it.

Online Facts and Fictionionarys

Promises made and broken… smile a warm smile, stick out your hand, extend a courtesy and most times a person will respond in a positive way. For most, the promise of a true and lasting friendship is something to be worked on.

A bond established between two or more people often extends far beyond the mutual interest that brought them together ~~ True and loyal friends are rare and for some completely out of reach. Connecting online can be a pleasant experience.

If wishes were fishes, these online relationships would be the start of honest friendship … A subliminal promise of trust, but one hoped for none the less …

A wise person stows expectations in an overhead compartment of their Craft of Exploration, hoping for honesty and friendship, based on shared mutual interests. Whatever else falls out from above or around, the trip can be fun and exciting, and when we are very lucky, enlightening.

This Queen of Mean, this Joker of Junk, and Duchess of Dung broke the basic promises made in human interaction. Lies, back stabbing, bullying, and fraud are just some of what fell out during this trip that was not guided but, instead, manipulated.

The promised shoulder to shoulder walk was in reality, follow the leader … or else. It was a dark and twisted road that once revealed made the choice to opt out very easy.

Because luck and friendship do sometimes collide in cyber space, I found a comfort zone with like-minded posters who had experienced the same horrific treatment and disappointment. One promise to myself now is to trust my inner compass, listen to my own message of truth, and share it with others instead of squashing down nagging questions about intentions and actions.

Another promise is that I will never let someone this pathetic stop me from reaching out that hand in friendship or from accepting it in ~~ TRUST ~~

How to be a Message Board Despot

To begin, Misrepresent yourself. Don't speak too often, find more likable and articulate people and charm them so they will stick up for you.

Use these people to point others to your Blog of a high profile murder trial.

Use personal photo Avatar of yourself and spouse that is as old and phony as you are.

Make self available to answer questions briefly every evening at a not so busy hour. Praise others for their wit.

Use "Wit" of others as though it were your own in busy times. Thank everyone who compliments you on your quick mind with an "It was nothing" attitude.

Bring the "Woe is Me" stories of past problems on message boards out slowly, and only as an explanation for former victims comments.

Create acrimony on the boards and then use that bad feeling to woo others to your own board.

Bask in gratitude and tell everyone they're FREE AT LAST ! Allow everyone to settle in and bond.

Encourage attacks on posters at original board. Give advice and blessings. Join attacks under different Nic's because you are so Godlike that everyone will pick on you under your own name.

Start testing the waters of power by making pathetic little threats to shut down the board, veiled in concern that someone isn't respecting your privacy. Make it clear you want no trouble.

Accept apologies and assurances from others that they would never betray you. Beneficently allow board to stay open. Bask in attention.

Get banned at other board and cut all ties. Leave announcement saying that the other board is evil and you are glad to be rid of it, but not requiring anyone else to leave it.

Claim you don't care about other board, because you are above all of that pettiness.

Get jealous of more popular posters. Collect fawning STOOGES.

Make more announcements about how you "See the board going".

Make sad, hurt, boo hoo announcement about the posters still participating on other board. Start demanding participation in contests and games on your board.

Reiterate how evil and awful other board is, but make clear you are too spiritual and pure to demand that other posters (all full grown adults on their own time) stop posting on other board.

Begin to squeeze life out of board.

Refuse to accept offers to share expenses for operating message board. State your benevolence in paying the costs yourself. Forget to mention you have NO COST.

Interrupt ongoing conversations and divert discussion to yourself and your interests. Explain in full detail what you are “doing”, how you make “CROTCHWARMERS”, even if not asked for details.

Post pictures of CROTCHWARMERS you are hawking (Even though it is against TOS for anyone else to mention a home business).

Take the obligatory comments and praise as invitation to give information for every CROTCHWARMER in your line to other posters.

Take any comment about health, from constipation to gallstones as an open invitation to shove the fad diet you follow, down the throats of all posters. Ask personal questions about them, and claim that said diet has cured you of exactly what they have. Begin to ask for private health information from them.

By posting PHONY PHOTO conceal what this wondrous diet has made YOU look like.

Have loyal STOOGES start throwing TOS around for statements with words 'politics' and 'religion' in them, even if it is not the subject matter.

Whine and lecture posters about spending time anywhere but your board. Explain that you have everything they could want.

Open a private thread on the board, for only yourself and STOOGES. Go to thread and talk down posters who were invited to your board. Make fun of them, belittle them, all behind their backs.

NOTE: Make sure decent honest posters are blocked from this thread. They tend to get insulted when stumbling across it accidentally and seeing the Real You.

Pressure other posters to buy your CROTCHWARMERS. If you can find one with a business of their own put pressure on them, as a "Trusted Friend", to buy from you.

Once they give in and agree, send them recycled crap you've had in another place. Make them pay in PayPal, so you can get that cash out before they change their mind. Ship to suit yourself, the Hell with them.

Begin to snipe at posters for any little thing. Do this on the busiest thread, in front of other posters. Be sure to include hearts and smilies on these mean little reminders.

If poster objects to this treatment, post cold message on board scolding them for making their side of the disagreement public, and request that they take it to pm.

Have loyal STOOGES start posting how sad and hurt you are that people still show minds of their own. Make sure STOOGES suggest that everyone give up the stress of thinking and give into the ease of mindless following.

If independent posters persist in wanting to discuss topics that brought them all together instead of YOUR personal projects and interests, make an Edict forbidding these adults from talking about anything, except subjects you approve. Approved topics include how talented you are, how special you are, your CROTCHWARMERS, eating nasty bread, your pets, what a great writer you are, how special you are, how great you'll feel on the diet, CROTCHWARMERS, where you can buy expensive vitamin supplements to make up for nutrients not provided by the diet, how terrific you are, and, of course, .......CROTCHWARMERS.

Jump on anyone who does not follow the Edict. Include hearts and smilies. If any poster objects to being treated like a child, tear into them on the boards. Be incredibly rude and condescending.

Make sure to accuse them of disloyalty and tell them they should not be disagreeing in front of everyone else. Ignore the fact that you started it, and leave in a dignified huff.

If other posters show anger for your treatment of poster you attacked, back off and say you were misunderstood. You did not mean to say they couldn't talk about those things, just that they needed a different area on the board to do it in.

Notice posters are unhappy. Some leave and do not come back, others point out that you are becoming a DESPOT. Jump all over them, have your STOOGES do so as well.

Try to bring board together by approaching a poster who has suffered a devastating loss. Ask poster to tell everyone the story.

If poster refuses to allow you to exploit their deep pain, for the sake of bringing everyone together, accuse them of being selfish. Make sure they know how much they misunderstood your caring offer. Hope they feel ashamed and relent soon.

Use Administrative abilities to read private messages passing between disgruntled posters. Start a campaign to divide and conquer, pitting posters who still believe you against those who've had it.

Begin banning anyone who isn't fawning. Have STOOGES continue to harass them through other board or email. Assure those still trusting you that all is well. Make excuses for absence of posters. Holidays, moving, work.

Send STOOGES to ex-posters saying they are fed up too, in order to spy. Have spy report back to you. Tell remaining posters others are evil. Send nasty emails showing you have a SPY.

When spy is kicked to the curb, announce there may be a virus on message board to scare remaining posters. Close board and have late night telephone conferences with minions to plan revenge on disloyal posters who jumped ship.

Use name of poster from former failed message board to send out banning notices to any posters spy saw who disagreed with you. Make certain notices say how disappointing it is that you were totally misunderstood. Be sure they know this is all their fault.

Get more resignations from posters who are done with you.

Close board for 'Holidays'.

Find solace on sex oriented board started by aforementioned SPY.

Decide two posters and four STOOGES aren't going to keep the board going, leave it closed until you can find more trusting suckers.

Plan revenge and comeback while watching interest in Blog drop to zero.

Tough work but someone has to do it.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

"Blogger" posts a photo with mate on every message board entry possible. This is the person we relate to. The Avatar never changes - is always the same..

Recently a photo appeared, taken during PS trial watch. The real Blogger and another well-known poster. The photo is so incredibly opposite that represented - one more time the falsehoods and deceit are flagged.

Why? would any normal person go so far out of their way to imply they are someone else?

Could the answer be found in the works of Sam Vakin, Ph.D., in his Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited?

"The narcissist resorts to self-delusion. Unable to completely ignore contrarian opinion and data – he transmutes them. Unable to face the dismal failure that he is, the narcissist partially withdraws from reality. To soothe and salve the pain of disillusionment, he administers to his aching soul a mixture of lies, distortions, half-truths and outlandish interpretations of events around him. These solutions can be classified thus:

The Delusional Narrative Solution

The narcissist constructs a narrative in which he figures as the hero – brilliant, perfect, irresistibly handsome, destined for great things, entitled, powerful, wealthy, the centre of attention, etc. The bigger the strain on this delusional charade – the greater the gap between fantasy and reality – the more the delusion coalesces and solidifies.

Finally, if it is sufficiently protracted, it replaces reality and the narcissist's reality test deteriorates. He withdraws his bridges and may become schizotypal, catatonic, or schizoid.

The Antisocial Solution

The narcissist renounces reality. To his mind, those who pusillanimously fail to recognise his unbound talents, innate superiority, overarching brilliance, benevolent nature, entitlement, cosmically important mission, perfection, etc. – do not deserve consideration. The narcissist's natural affinity with the criminal – his lack of empathy and compassion, his deficient social skills, his disregard for social laws and morals – now erupt and blossom. He becomes a full fledged antisocial (sociopath or psychopath). He ignores the wishes and needs of others, he breaks the law, he violates all rights – natural and legal, he holds people in contempt and disdain, he derides society and its codes, he punishes the ignorant ingrates – that, to his mind, drove him to this state – by acting criminally and by jeopardising their safety, lives, or property.

The Paranoid Schizoid Solution

The narcissist develops persecutory delusions. He perceives slights and insults where none were intended. He becomes subject to ideas of reference (people are gossiping about him, mocking him, prying into his affairs, cracking his e-mail, etc.). He is convinced that he is the centre of malign and mal-intentioned attention. People are conspiring to humiliate him, punish him, abscond with his property, delude him, impoverish him, confine him physically or intellectually, censor him, impose on his time, force him to action (or to inaction), frighten him, coerce him, surround and besiege him, change his mind, part with his values, victimise or even murder him, and so on.

Some narcissists withdraw completely from a world populated with such minacious and ominous objects (really projections of internal objects and processes). They avoid all social contact, except the most necessary. They refrain from meeting people, falling in love, having sex, talking to others, or even corresponding with them. In short: they become schizoids – not out of social shyness, but out of what they feel to be their choice. "This evil, hopeless world does not deserve me" – goes the inner refrain – "and I shall waste none of my time and resources on it."

The Paranoid Aggressive (Explosive) Solution

Other narcissists who develop persecutory delusions, resort to an aggressive stance, a more violent resolution of their internal conflict. They become verbally, psychologically, situationally (and, very rarely, physically) abusive. They insult, castigate, chastise, berate, demean, and deride their nearest and dearest (often well wishers and loved ones). They explode in unprovoked displays of indignation, righteousness, condemnation, and blame. Theirs is an exegetic Bedlam. They interpret everything – even the most innocuous, inadvertent, and innocent comment – as designed to provoke and humiliate them. They sow fear, revulsion, hate, and malignant envy. They flail against the windmills of reality – a pathetic, forlorn, sight. But often they cause real and lasting damage – fortunately, mainly to themselves.

The Masochistic Avoidant Solution

The narcissist is angered by the lack of Narcissistic Supply. He directs some of this fury inwards, punishing himself for his "failure". This masochistic behaviour has the added "benefit" of forcing the narcissist's closest to assume the roles of dismayed spectators or of persecutors and thus, either way, to pay him the attention that he craves.

Self-administered punishment often manifests as self-handicapping masochism – a narcissistic cop-out. By undermining his work, his relationships, and his efforts, the increasingly fragile narcissist avoids additional criticism and censure (negative supply). Self-inflicted failure is the narcissist's doing and thus proves that he is the master of his own fate.

Masochistic narcissists keep finding themselves in self-defeating circumstances which render success impossible – and "an objective assessment of their performance improbable" [Millon, 2000]. They act carelessly, withdraw in mid-effort, are constantly fatigued, bored, or disaffected and thus passive-aggressively sabotage their lives. Their suffering is defiant and by "deciding to abort" they reassert their omnipotence.

The narcissist's pronounced and public misery and self-pity are compensatory and "reinforce (his) self-esteem against overwhelming convictions of worthlessness" [Millon, 2000]. His tribulations and anguish render him, in his eyes, unique, saintly, virtuous, righteous, resilient, and significant. They are, in other words, self-generated Narcissistic Supply.

Thus, paradoxically, the worst his anguish and unhappiness, the more relieved and elated such a narcissist feels!

[Additional reading: Millon, Theodore and Davis, Roger – Personality Disorders in Modern Life, 2nd Edition – New York, John Wiley and Sons, 2000]

Note: The Prodigy as Narcissistic Injury

The prodigy – the precocious "genius" – feels entitled to special treatment. Yet, he rarely gets it. This frustrates him and renders him even more aggressive, driven, and overachieving than he is by nature.

Not all precocious prodigies end up under-accomplished and petulant. Many of them go on to attain great stature in their communities and great standing in their professions. But, even then, the gap between the kind of treatment they believe that they deserve and the one they are getting is unbridgeable.

This is because narcissistic prodigies often misjudge the extent and importance of their accomplishments and, as a result, erroneously consider themselves to be indispensable and worthy of special rights, perks, and privileges. When they find out otherwise, they are devastated and furious.

Moreover, people are envious of the prodigy. The genius serves as a constant reminder to others of their mediocrity, lack of creativity, and mundane existence. Naturally, they try to "bring him down to their level" and "cut him down to size". The gifted person's haughtiness and high-handedness only exacerbate his strained relationships.

In a way, merely by existing, the prodigy inflicts constant and repeated narcissistic injuries on the less endowed and the pedestrian. This creates a vicious cycle. People try to hurt and harm the overweening and arrogant genius and he becomes defensive, aggressive, and aloof. This renders him even more obnoxious than before and others resent him more deeply and more thoroughly. Hurt and wounded, he retreats into fantasies of grandeur and revenge. And the cycle re-commences.

Grandiosity and Intimacy – The Roots of Paranoia

Paranoid ideation – the narcissist's deep-rooted conviction that he is being persecuted by his inferiors, detractors, or powerful ill-wishers – serves two psychodynamic purposes. It upholds the narcissist's grandiosity and it fends off intimacy.

Grandiosity Enhancing Paranoia

Being the target of relentless, ubiquitous, and unjust persecution proves to the paranoid narcissist how important and feared he is. Being hounded by the mighty and the privileged validates his pivotal role in the scheme of things. Only vital, weighty, crucial, essential principals are thus bullied and intimidated, followed and harassed, stalked and intruded upon – goes his unconscious inner dialog. The narcissist consistently baits authority figures into punishing him and thus into upholding his delusional self-image as worthy of their attention. This provocative behaviour is called Projective Identification.

The paranoid delusions of the narcissist are always grandiose, "cosmic", or "historical". His pursuers are influential and formidable. They are after his unique possessions, out to exploit his expertise and special traits, or to force him to abstain and refrain from certain actions. The narcissist feels that he is at the centre of intrigues and conspiracies of colossal magnitudes.

Alternatively, the narcissist feels victimised by mediocre bureaucrats and intellectual dwarves who consistently fail to appreciate his outstanding – really, unparalleled – talents, skills, and accomplishments. Being haunted by his challenged inferiors substantiates the narcissist's comparative superiority. Driven by pathological envy, these pygmies collude to defraud him, badger him, deny him his due, denigrate, isolate, and ignore him.

The narcissist projects onto this second class of lesser persecutors his own deleterious emotions and transformed aggression: hatred, rage, and seething jealousy.

The narcissist's paranoid streak is likeliest to erupt when he lacks Narcissistic Supply. The regulation of his labile sense of self-worth is dependent upon external stimuli – adoration, adulation, affirmation, applause, notoriety, fame, infamy, and, in general, attention of any kind.

When such attention is deficient, the narcissist compensates by confabulating. He constructs ungrounded narratives in which he is the protagonist and uses them to force his human environment into complicity.

Put simply, he provokes people to pay attention to him by misbehaving or behaving oddly.

Intimacy Retarding Paranoia

Paranoia is use by the narcissist to ward off or reverse intimacy. The narcissist is threatened by intimacy because it reduces him to ordinariness by exposing his weaknesses and shortcomings and by causing him to act "normally". The narcissist also dreads the encounter with his deep buried emotions – hurt, envy, anger, aggression – likely to be foisted on him in an intimate relationship.

The paranoid narrative legitimises intimacy repelling behaviours such as keeping one's distance, secrecy, aloofness, reclusion, aggression, intrusion on privacy, lying, desultoriness, itinerancy, unpredictability, and idiosyncratic or eccentric reactions. Gradually, the narcissist succeeds to alienate and wear down all his friends, colleagues, well-wishers, and mates.

Even his closest, nearest, and dearest, his family – feel emotionally detached and "burnt out".

The paranoid narcissist ends life as an oddball recluse – derided, feared, and loathed in equal measures. His paranoia – exacerbated by repeated rejections and ageing – pervades his entire life and diminishes his creativity, adaptability, and functioning. The narcissist personality, buffeted by paranoia, turns ossified and brittle. Finally, atomised and useless, it succumbs and gives way to a great void. The narcissist is consumed."

What can the victims of these social misfits do to avoid being duped? How can they see this personality for what it is?

Thoughts on Sunday Bloody Sunday

Scott Peterson, O.J. Simpson, Phil Spector, Bobby Cutts, Drew Peterson, Cesar Armando Laurean - how many more?

WHY? WHY? WHY?

BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO!

Laci Peterson. Kathleen Peterson. Almost certainly Stacy Peterson. Nicole Simpson. Lana Clarkson. Christa Worthington. Those are just the famous ones. Maria Lauterbach. Amina Yaser Said. Sarah Yaser Said. Those are just the most recent "newsworthy” ones.

Fact: Women Murdered in the U.S in 2000 - recent yearly statistics available from the U.S. Department of Justice - more than 33 percent were killed by an intimate partner.

Fact: Nationally, homicide is a leading killer of young women—pregnant or not.

Must have missed the memo, because I thought we were supposed to be a civilized society, striving for improvement. We were supposed to be kind towards one other. War or attack aside, we were certainly not supposed to annihilate other human beings.

Instead, we seem to be in a place and time of unprecedented violence towards women and children. In a society that is completely hit-and-miss when it comes to convicting, imprisoning, or punishing the murderers.

Maybe it was always like this, but has the need to hammer it home for the 24 hour ratings-grabbing media reporting changed the program? It certainly feels as if our society has descended into some sort of collective psychosis - a violent whirlpool of rage, entitlement, and devaluation of human life.

Turn on any crime show (and I confess I watch some of them) and there are literally nonstop images of - mostly - women and young girls bound, tortured, pleading for their lives from behind their gags. Yes, the heroes and heroines are working feverishly to rescue these victims, but the camera always cuts back to those victims. And of course, women and children are much easier to target and victimize, on screen and off.

Have we become immune to the horrors of these acts and these images? I don't want to believe that this is what entertainment is, or that we have become a society so intellectually and spiritually impoverished that we think that as entertainment goes, so real life must follow.

Walking my dogs this morning, I had to pull hard to stop Sabre, an 80 lb. ball of fur, from going after a rabbit. That is instinct. Sabre doesn't see the rabbit as a living breathing creature with rights equal to his.

Humans are supposed to be more highly evolved. But if there is anything like an ethical evolutionary scale, we, the Human Race, are cashing in the chips, calling it a loss, and relegating ourselves to the lowest possible level imaginable.

From W.B. Yeats' poem "Slouching Towards Bethlehem": . . .

Things fall apart; the center cannot hold.
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity. . .

What wouldn't I give to disagree with Yeats?

Once Upon A Time - Long Long Ago

There once was a mythical place called Court TV. You could see it on television and it had some very interesting programs about current crimes and trials. There were a group of reporters and hosts and a lot of people enjoyed it very much. Some might even say it was among the very first "Reality TV".

The people who watched were so fascinated by the subject matter that they wanted to discuss and theorize about the case facts. The audience grew and grew and then Court TV decided to open up message boards on the Internet so the fans could share their thoughts, opinions and theories.

Well things went pretty good for awhile. Sure there were some pretty strong opinions, some pretty loud differences, and some unpleasantness. Certain folks wrote silly stuff just to be contrary, but all in all it worked, and it worked well.

Suddenly the bottom feeders of this society swarmed into view. Their own insecurities and lack of self-worth, their immaturity and for some the opportunity to magnify themselves and become "important" led to grabs for center stage and importance. The useless could pretend to be worthy and they began to do anything to be noticed.

So as so many good things throughout time, things got out-of-hand. The boards had a "moderator" who was totally inept. She would bounce and ban at will - no explanation, no rules to follow, never giving one thought to the importance the "community" was to many decent posters.

Their were evil dragons would cause controversy and complain to the nasty moderator. Without remorse she would toss willy-nilly, to and fro, and finally - there was nothing worth reading left.

The farmer in the dell - the farmer in the dell - high-ho the dairy-o the farmer in the dell - In thge endy the cheese stands alone - stinky old cheese - rotten and stale. . . and all that cold water getting things moldy with not a decent plumber in sight.

Eye Halve A Spelling Checker

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I yam shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect in it’s weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

~ Anonymous ~

A Cautionary Tale

Once a upon a time, a trial watching veteran but inexperienced message boarder stumbled onto the CTV boards. It was in the age of the trial of that wee (accused) murderer called – in more polite moments - Phil Spector. No need to elaborate just how factionalized and nasty those discussions became, so much so that the threads were often shut down.

One beacon of hope shone in all of this, a blogger who was in court nearly everyday, a blogger who made it clear that the insane rulings of the CTV moderator were intolerable. A blogger who offered a place of refuge (invite only) for certain posters of the G persuasion. For our purposes, we will call her the Queen Blogger.

For awhile – a very short while – the new private board was a kingdom of happiness. And it was a blast. Posters could let down their hair, swap stories of how they got banned from CTV and make any kind of comments they wanted about the fringe-brains, trolls and goings on “over there.” It was good. And it was fun. Alas, as most good and fun things go, so this went.

Within weeks things began to change. Suddenly the posters were strongly encouraged to participate in threads of games, even if they weren’t interested. They were told to go out, find new crimes stories and start threads on them. Contests were invented. Queen Blogger flogged her wares as product and as prizes for the contests, and trumpeted her quack-quack remedies. Posters began to wonder, but mostly kept their suspicions to themselves.

Then it got personal. One highly venerated poster was dissed so nastily and inappropriately by Queen Blogger and her bloggerettes that others on the board were no longer just suspicious. And many posters got angry. And many posters got restless.

In order to soothe themselves, several posters came up with a plan, a scheme if you will, to express themselves on another board. And WHAM! The iron fist of the Queen Blogger came down faster than you can say “get off that bat-cat tree!”

Posters were told it was no longer allowed to plan and scheme – not even to joke – about that “other board.” Queen Blogger denied this was an edict, but we knew better. And having been raised in a democracy, the discontented posters soon began to privately share their anger and disappointment.

And then it was discovered that those private expressions were not private at all. Queen Blogger and the brainwashed bloggerettes had access to all “private” emails through that board. And it was further discovered that some very nasty personal opinions about we posters had been going on behind the scenes. Unfortunately for Queen Blogger, she and her minions had unwittingly left the thread that these nasty remarks were on open long enough for some of the disgruntled posters to read what was there.

The rest is history. With the extent of Queen Blogger’s duplicity and hypocrisy revealed, a full scale exodus – accompanied by some mighty pointed comments – ensued. Queen Blogger is left to try to pick up the pieces of her cracked, trash-filled, dark-hearted, dishonest board. She and her sycophants can talk kinky sex, flannel blankies and the wonderfulness of Queen Blogger ad nauseum. Perhaps they can trawl through the tattered remnants of CTV to find new cannon fodder.

We won’t get fooled again. We must, however, give thanks to Queen Blogger for one thing. If she hadn't serendipitously picked a savvy, insightful poster to invite the smartest, funniest, kindest posters to her place of darkness, we wouldn’t know each other. So thanks, Queenie, you and your Court Jesters can all kiss our collective asses.

The Blog Queen of Mean

Interest in crime, courts and justice have a huge audience on the Internet. There are many Message Boards and Blogs and while the posters share a common interest, due to this being the Internet, prudent beings would know better than to be victimized both spirtually and financially by the blogger mentioned here. Buyer beware!

"My, my. It seems that one person on the CTV Phil Spector forum has a hard-on hatred for Mrs. Spector.

This Forum Queen and self styled Court Reporter's obsession with Rachelle Marie Spector has crossed over all adult behaviour and presented itself as a viscious 12 year old.The spewing of vitriol does not contain itself to the CTV forum, where she is surrounded by fawning sycophants.

It has spilled out into the court where she has been heard by jurors and adminished by the judge. While watching of the Spector Saga on CTV, I have noticed that Mrs. Spector is rarely, if ever, mentioned. Why? She is not pertinent to the trial procedings. Period.

Yet, Forum Queen has singled Mrs. Spector out, put her on Center Stage and condemned her without a trial. I know next to nothing about Rachelle Marie Spector. But I have an idea who the Forum Queen is, from her own words.

Forum Queen has presented herself as immature and viscious with a personal obsession for Mrs. Spector. Witness the fact that she recently posted every internet photo of Mrs Spector she could find on the Phil Spector Trial forum of Court TV. WHY? The trial forum has nothing to do with Mrs. Spector. Only Forum Queen is obsessed with this woman.

Note to Forum Queen and her Flunkies:
* Grow up * Get real * Watch out *

People who are visciously attacked have a tendance to bite back"