Cry, Die, Lie, Deny, Cry, Die, WHY?

Quoted from a Canton Rep Blog on 14 Feb 2008 at 11:29 am Ginger wrote:

"One thing I will never forget on the first day of the search. My sister and I both being from North Canton, felt absolutely compelled to help find Jessie, its just a feeling you have that you have to do something. Once we boarded the bus which was taking out team to our search location, we were briefed on what to do and what not to do by the fire dept personnel. Then a man came on board and told us to be careful, stay hydrated and thanked us for coming. He was very calm and no one thought anything of it, he was just another man giving us our instructions and we were anxious to get moving and help. Just as he was leaving the bus, he turned back around and stepped back into the bus and paused for a moment. and then he said something to the effect of “Please help us find my daughter Jessie. We need to find her and the baby now. Be careful and please bring Jessie home” and he thanks us again, tearing up and left the bus immediately. The bus was speechless except for some people who began crying. Us included. It was the most heartfelt phrase of words I had ever heard. and it motivated us. People we didn’t know, who automatically bonded in a heartbeat. I wish we would have found her for him and Jessie’s family. Jessie’s father also greeted the bus both times after our searches and thanked us for searching and told us not to worry, we would find Jessie. It is what I remember the next day when I was deciding whether or not to go search. It wasn’t an option. All I could remember was her father talking to us and you had to go back and help. It wasn’t will I go, it was how fast can I get there."

Jessie Davis must have cried for herself and Chloe. She must have struggled for the five or six minutes it took his huge powerful hands to stop the air going to her lungs. Did Chloe struggle helplessly trying to get born to breathe as well?

Even after Jessie was gone, how did Bobby Cutts not think of his unborn child who still had a chance for life? How did he allow Blake to watch "Mommy is crying. She is in the rug."?

So the policeman who was struggling to support wives and mistresses, legitimate and illegitimate children, spewing his seed without conscious, seeking abortions to alleviate the inconvernience of his pleasures. This "good father" sayeth Kelly Cutts, who left Blake after the trauma of seeing mommy in the rug, in dirty diapers alone to wallow in the fear and mess left behind. The bleach bottle and who knows what else.

Jessie and Chloe cried and then they died. And then Bobby lied and denied.

How many like Ginger were compelled to give up their lives and fight to find this pregnant mother. How many will deal with the nightmare of Cutts' actions forever? Canton, Ohio is a small community. A community now torn apart by the immorality of one man. They were forced to fear and search and then deal with the discovery. Their lives have been forever changed by the trial and the need to decide whether they have to impose the death penalty or support and protect this degenerate for the rest of his sorry days.

And now he cries again. Tearless cries - please spare my life! Did you think about sparing Jessie or Chloe or Blake or the rest of those who loved them? Did you think about the police and search parties and jurors who whose lives will be forever scarred?

Bobby Cutts thought he would maybe someday be mayor of Canton. Indeed he did wind up being someone whose actions would impact them all. He leaves behind a community scarred forever.

Live or Die - the decision will hurt and harm many - the question is WHY? Bobby WHY?

When a Man Loves a Woman

A classic song, one I play over and over. It ranks way up there among my all time favorites. Percy Sledge immortalized it, but it's the divine Miss M, the one and only Bette Midler herself, who belts it out with such emotion that it never fails to grab my heart.

"When a man loves a woman, can't keep his mind on nothin' else . . . He'd give up all his comfort, sleep out in the rain, if that's the way she said it should be."

It isn't stated explicitly, but the song seems to promise that love will last, that it will remain steadfast through tough times and passion, even when the spark of youth is gone. The song is great, but the song is at best a lovely promise and a fairy tale. Love takes work and faith and honesty and compromise. And sometimes - evidenced by more than 50% of marriages winding up in divorce - it doesn't last.

So what does happen when a man no longer loves a woman in this millennium? The increasingly violent answers to that question are providing a seemingly endless series of criminal cases.

The benign, normal answer would be to separate from that woman, get up and leave. The split and the way it happens is a choice. Does he start a fight in order to have an excuse to take off? Does he leave a message on a cell phone? Or leave a yellow sticky on the fridge to announce it's over? Does he confess he has fallen in love with someone else or admit he doesn't want the responsibility or pressure of an ongoing relationship? Does he hide those things of value that he might lose or have to split? Does he step up to the plate and deal with his decision?

Or does he just leave? There's always that old story that begins, He just went out to get a pack of cigarettes and never came home."

Any of these messy, sad, painful endings are at least still on the radar of humanity. The woman has the chance to get over it, get past it, find a new life, or even to dwell and mourn forever. But more and more , it seems lately, the choice is anything but. Instead, the man defiles, abuses, and finally kills the woman. And more and more he even chooses to have the life he created that waits to be born in her womb is taken without so much as an after-thought.

When did it become acceptable to end a relationship or a marriage, by disposing of a woman like an old mattress waiting for the for the trash collector to haul it away and out of his sight? When did taking someone's life because they are unwanted or inconvenient become a choice?

Even if it isn't instant true love or a lengthy marriage or a sweethearts since high school situation, love and passion do - at some point - go hand in hand. Perhaps women are more likely to confuse the two, perhaps not. Does the love have to be life-long? Can a quick tryst on a secluded beach qualify, at least for the moment? Honestly, no, but that does not make it any less wicked and despicable to end a brief encounter with the ultimate display of contempt.

The public remains glued to the news, internet, televison, true crime books, and death row interviews, learning the sick details of men, as a matter of convenience, taking the place of God or whatever higher power, into their own hands. Nicole, Lana, Laci, Natalee, Julie, Stacy, Maria, and so many more have had their lives taken by the men they once loved and trusted. Men who had fathered their children or men they had just met. Relying on an internal compass doesn't seem to work any better in long marriages than it does in one night stands.

Far too often, a man decides to twist and distort the situation to produce the exact ending he wants - the quick exit to a mistake he has made and will not be held accountable for.

GET THIS THROUGH YOUR HEAD, TESTOSTERONE IS NO EXCUSE!

Women are not disposable, they do not have sell-by date and then discard stamped on their foreheads, they are not inconveniences. If you want out, GET-THE-HELL-OUT with out resorting to depravity! Pay the alimony and child support, deal with the anger like, well, like a MAN. Not a cowardly batterer.

The key word LOVE is lost to these men and replaced with selfish, self-serving, self important . . . SELF SELF SELF. So when it comes to an OJ or a Scott or a Drew or a Joran or on and on and on, it raises the question: when a man loves a woman does he really love anyone other than himself?

What goes wrong? Too many men need a new roadmap, a new song that addresses what happens when a man doesn't love a woman. When he loves the sex, the convenience and whatever is on his agenda. Sting almost got it right, but instead of "if you love somebody, set them free", change it to " if you loved somebody, set them free".

"You can't control an independent heart
Can't tear the one you love apart
Forever conditioned to believe that we can't live
We can't live here and be happy with less
So many riches, so many souls
Everything we see we want to possess.

If you love somebody, set them free . . ."