Thoughts on Aging

Old age, I decided is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be.

Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging bottom. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family, for less gray hair or a flatter tummy.

As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra biscuit, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio.

I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 a.m. and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50's & 60's.

will walk along the beach in a swimsuit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set, they too will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as, well, forgotten. Eventually I remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning grey and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so may have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be opinionated wrong.

I will cry when a small child is shoved into a trunk by a evil mother. When a man brutally kills the mother of his unborn child I will feel rage. I will be proud when justice is fair and furious when it doesn't.

I like being older. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day if I feel like it!!!