What Have We Done to the Children?

When Betty Friedan published her highly influential The Feminine Mystique describing the dissatisfaction felt by middle-class American housewives' narrow role imposed on them by society and galvanized the feminist movement, women left the home.

No longer content to cook and clean and carpool, family life changed drastically. I wondered some forty or so years ago whether it would wind up being a change for the best. Yes women would expand their participation in business, politics, economics, government, and the arts. They were and are entitled to personal challenge, success, and fulfillment in every way, but at what price?

Marriage is no longer a dependable contract between two people. Husbands and wives ebb and flow, in and out of marriage at will. Children lost more than having someone waiting at home to listen, hot lunches, and conversation at the dinner table with dad, mom and siblings.

Communication, dedication, reliability and commitment have had major down turns. Moral values are in steep decline.

Our children are killing one another in SCHOOL! Remember when school was the place where you studied and made friends and played sports? Remember when school was second only to the womb as far as a safe-haven. Oh well, we know what has happened to the safety of the womb.

Of course it is a woman's right to excel as an individual. But how much of a factor has this change in society contributed to the increase in physical and psychological abuse, sexual abuse, lack of respect for the lives of women, unborn children and children?

Where is all this violence coming from and where is it going? There are many possible causes, but what can we ~ what will we ~ what should we ~ be willing to do to change the direction. One wonders, if we are reaping what has been sewn, how much higher the price are we willing to pay?

~~~

Feb. 14, 2008
DeKalb, IL. Gunman kills seven students and then himself, and wounds 15 more when he opens fire on a classroom at Northern Illinois University. The gunman, Stephen P. Kazmierczak, was identified as a former graduate student at the university in 2007.

Feb. 8, 2008
Baton Rouge, LA. A nursing student shot and killed two women and then herself in a classroom at Louisiana Technical College in Baton Rouge.

Oct. 10, 2007
Cleveland, OH. A 14-year-old student at a Cleveland high school, Asa H. Coon, shot and injured two students and two teachers before he shot and killed himself. The victims' injuries were not life-threatening.

Sept. 21, 2007
Dover, DE. A Delaware State University Freshman, Loyer D. Brandon, shot and wounded two other Freshman students on the University campus. Brandon is being charged with attempted murder, assault, reckless engagement, as well as a gun charge.

April 16, 2007
Blacksburg, VA. A 23-year-old Virginia Tech student, Cho Seung-Hui, killed two in a dorm, then killed 30. more 2 hours later in a classroom building. His suicide brought the death toll to 33, making the shooting rampage the most deadly in U.S. history. Fifteen others were wounded.

Jan. 3, 2007
Tacoma, WA. Douglas Chanthabouly, 18, shot fellow student Samnang Kok, 17, in the hallway of Henry Foss High School.

Sept. 29, 2006
Cazenovia, WI. A 15-year-old student shot and killed Weston School principal John Klang.

Oct. 3, 2006
Nickel Mines, PA. 32-year-old Carl Charles Roberts IV entered the one-room West Nickel Mines Amish School and shot 10 schoolgirls, ranging in age from 6 to 13 years old, and then himself. Five of the girls and Roberts died.

Sept. 26, 2006
Bailey, CO. Adult male held six students hostage at Platte Canyon High School and then shot and killed Emily Keyes, 16, and himself.

Sept. 13, 2006
Montreal, Canada. Kimveer Gill, 25, opened fire with a semiautomatic weapon at Dawson College. Anastasia De Sousa, 18, died and more than a dozen students and faculty were wounded before Gill killed himself.

Aug. 24, 2006
Essex, VT. Christopher Williams, 27, looking for his ex-girlfriend at Essex Elementary School, shot two teachers, killing one and wounding another. Before going to the school, he had killed the ex-girlfriend's mother.

Nov. 8, 2005
Jacksboro, TN. One 15-year-old shot and killed an assistant principal at Campbell County High School and seriously wounded two other administrators.

March 21, 2005
Red Lake, MN. Jeff Weise, 16, killed grandfather and companion, then arrived at school where he killed a teacher, a security guard, 5 students, and finally himself, leaving a total of 10 dead.

Sept. 24, 2003
Cold Spring, MN. Two students are killed at Rocori High School by John Jason McLaughlin, 15.

April 24, 2003
Red Lion, PA. James Sheets, 14, killed principal Eugene Segro of Red Lion Area Junior High School before killing himself.

October 28, 2002
Tucson, AZ. Robert S. Flores Jr., 41, a student at the nursing school at the University of Arizona, shot and killed three female professors and then himself.

April 14, 2003
New Orleans, LA. One 15-year-old killed, and three students wounded at John McDonogh High School by gunfire from four teenagers (none were students at the school). The motive was gang-related.

Jan. 15, 2002
New York, NY. A teenager wounded two students at Martin Luther King Jr. High School.

Nov. 12, 2001
Caro, MI. Chris Buschbacher, 17, took two hostages at the Caro Learning Center before killing himself.

March 30, 2001
Gary, IN. One student killed by Donald R. Burt, Jr., a 17-year-old student who had been expelled from Lew Wallace High School.

March 22, 2001
Granite Hills, CA. One teacher and three students wounded by Jason Hoffman, 18, at Granite Hills High School. A policeman shot and wounded Hoffman.

March 7, 2001
Williamsport, PA. Elizabeth Catherine Bush, 14, wounded student Kimberly Marchese in the cafeteria of Bishop Neumann High School; she was depressed and frequently teased.

March 5, 2001
Santee, CA. Two killed and 13 wounded by Charles Andrew Williams, 15, firing from a bathroom at Santana High School.

Jan. 17, 2001
Baltimore, MD. One student shot and killed in front of Lake Clifton Eastern High School.

Sept. 26, 2000
New Orleans, LA. Two students wounded with the same gun during a fight at Woodson Middle School.

May 26, 2000
Lake Worth, FL. One teacher, Barry Grunow, shot and killed at Lake Worth Middle School by Nate Brazill, 13, with .25-caliber semiautomatic pistol on the last day of classes.

March 10, 2000
Savannah, GA. Two students killed by Darrell Ingram, 19, while leaving a dance sponsored by Beach High School.

Feb. 29, 2000
Mount Morris Township, MI. Six-year-old Kayla Rolland shot dead at Buell Elementary School near Flint, Mich. The assailant was identified as a six-year-old boy with a .32-caliber handgun.

Dec. 6, 1999
Fort Gibson, OK. Four students wounded as Seth Trickey, 13, opened fire with a 9mm semiautomatic handgun at Fort Gibson Middle School.

Nov. 19, 1999
Deming, NM. Victor Cordova Jr., 12, shot and killed Araceli Tena, 13, in the lobby of Deming Middle School.

May 20, 1999
Conyers, GA. Six students injured at Heritage High School by Thomas Solomon, 15, who was reportedly depressed after breaking up with his girlfriend.

April 28, 1999
Taber, Alberta, CA. One student killed, one wounded at W. R. Myers High School in first fatal high school shooting in Canada in 20 years. The suspect, a 14-year-old boy, had dropped out of school after he was severely ostracized by his classmates.

April 20, 1999
Littleton, CO. 14 students (including killers) and one teacher killed, 23 others wounded at Columbine High School in the nation's deadliest school shooting. Eric Harris, 18, and Dylan Klebold, 17, had plotted for a year to kill at least 500 and blow up their school. At the end of their hour-long rampage, they turned their guns on themselves.

June 15, 1998
Richmond, VA. One teacher and one guidance counselor wounded by a 14-year-old boy in the school hallway.

May 21, 1998
Springfield, OR. Two students killed, 22 others wounded in the cafeteria at Thurston High School by 15-year-old Kip Kinkel. Kinkel had been arrested and released a day earlier for bringing a gun to school. His parents were later found dead at home.

May 19, 1998
Fayetteville, TN. One student killed in the parking lot at Lincoln County High School three days before he was to graduate. The victim was dating the ex-girlfriend of his killer, 18-year-old honor student Jacob Davis.

April 24, 1998
Edinboro, PA. One teacher, John Gillette, killed, two students wounded at a dance at James W. Parker Middle School. Andrew Wurst, 14, was charged.

March 24, 1998
Jonesboro, AR. Four students and one teacher killed, ten others wounded outside as Westside Middle School emptied during a false fire alarm. Mitchell Johnson, 13, and Andrew Golden, 11, shot at their classmates and teachers from the woods.

Dec. 15, 1997
Stamps, AR. Two students wounded. Colt Todd, 14, was hiding in the woods when he shot the students as they stood in the parking lot.

Dec. 1, 1997
West Paducah, KY. Three students killed, five wounded by Michael Carneal, 14, as they participated in a prayer circle at Heath High School.

Oct. 1, 1997
Pearl, MS. Two students killed and seven wounded by Luke Woodham, 16, who was also accused of killing his mother. He and his friends were said to be outcasts who worshiped Satan.

Feb. 19, 1997
Bethel, AK. Principal and one student killed, two others wounded by Evan Ramsey, 16.

Feb. 2, 1996
Moses Lake, WA. Two students and one teacher killed, one other wounded when 14-year-old Barry Loukaitis opened fire on his algebra class.

Charla's Song

It was one of the most powerfully emotional court watching experiences since Sharon Rocha finally had her chance to speak about Scott Peterson. Finally it was Soorya Townsley's turn to speak for her daughter, Charla Mack.

"I was one of those lucky mothers to be best friends with my daughter, we chatted three or four times every day. In those last years, Charla and I cleared our past mother-daughter conflicts.

Now when I awake, I feel a thick, deep-seated depression that is hard to shake off. I feel like I have weights all around my body and it is an effort to move. Just like an alcoholic. I have been forced to live moment-to-moment, not to think any further, because otherwise I might have to lie down and die of sorrow.

The day to day reality is I can no longer experience the living picture of Charla in my life. All this stopped now because of an indulgent, cowardly man. THIS MAN who decided to play GOD!!! I don't know if at this point I will ever find peace until I die.

Charla's dream was to sing professionally, or start a business developing seminars for couples. Charla believed she could tame Darren's rage and get him involved. There was a song she wanted to sing to Darren . . ."

And then the music started. It was Charla singing a country-western song. Suddenly, Charla was there in the courtroom, confronting them all. The murderer, the judge, the lawyers, the families, the friends. There she was reminding the of her sweetness, her beauty, her betrayal, her trust, her fear. She seemed to say:

THIS WAS ME
LOOK BEYOND HIS LIES, HIS CROCODILE TEARS,
THIS WAS ME
I BEGGED YOU TO PROTECT US,
THIS WAS ME
WE NEEDED YOUR HELP,
THIS WAS ME
YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN,
THIS WAS ME
HEAR MY SONG?
THIS WAS ME
HEAR ME NOW?
THIS WAS ME

~~~

Darren Mack, of the once respected and powerful Reno, NV Mack family, used privilege to plow his way through divorce court, to get it his way. He used anything he thought of to hold up the inevitable.

Lies and accusations, gave fuel to his reasons to stall paying alimony and child support for their precious daughter Erica.

When things seemed not to his liking, Mack upset with a turn in the contentious divorce proceedings, decided Judge Chuck Weller was corrupt.

He stabbed estranged wife, Charla at least seven times when she arrived at his home, (as ordered by the court) to drop off their daughter. Then he drove downtown to a parking garage, where he sniper-style shot Judge Weller from 170 yards away.

A note found in the condo where Charla's bloodstained body was found, made cryptic references to the plan. Simple, "Dan take Erica to Joan." On the morning of the killing Mack's longtime friend Dan Osbourne drove Erica to the home of mack's mother, Joan, at Mack's request. The note also mentioned the garage door at the condo being open before the words, "end problem".

The trial was moved to Las Vegas because of extensive media coverage and possible family influence in the close Reno community. It ended on November 5 when Mack entered his pleas after prosecutors had finished presenting their case. Soon after, Mack changed lawyers, and tried unsuccessfully to withdraw his pleas and get another trial.

Finally, District Judge Douglas Herndon listened to those left behind and then sentenced Darren Mack to a minimum of 36 years in prison, the maximum terms of a plea deal - life in prison with possibility of parole after 20 years on the murder charge.

The judge also upheld the prosecutor's recommendation of sentencing Mack to 40 years with parole, after an additional 16 years for attempted murder with a deadly weapon. Both terms are to run back-to-back.

In handing down the sentence, Herndon cited the heinous nature of the crimes and Mack's lack of remorse.

"The truth is, Mr. Mack is guilty of these crimes, but he doesn't want to hear anything about that," the judge said while emphasizing that while he allowed Mack to speak at length, he never said the one thing he hoped we would hear: "I'm sorry."

The judge went on to make an emotional plea for both families to "be be a bigger person" for the sake of the couple's nine year old daughter.

"You have a young child at a very impressionable age, soon to enter her teen years and the adult life. You all can either choose to raise her, disparaging both parents, or you cantry to get past the court cases, the criminal proceedings . . . and teach her the good things about both these parents.

She needs to be raised with hugs and kisses," Herndon said with tears in his eyes.

She also needs a mother who is alive, and a father who is not in prison.

But the needs of Erica and so many others didn't matter to Darren Mack, one more man, whose personal desires and needs, changed everything for so many. And the beat goes on.

Feb, 3, 2003 - We Will Never Forget

April 5, 1962 ~~ February, 2003

"what we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose . . . for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." Helen Keller

The Time: 2:21 AM

The Place: The House of Blues

The relentlessly cheerful California girl, still dreaming of stardom, despite years of restaurant work and trashy TV roles clocked out of the Hollywood hot spot and reluctantly climbs into a limousine for "one drink only" at Phil Spector's "1930s Moorish castle" on the fringes of LA. DON'T GO LANA DON'T GO

Some said if Phil had had his usual driver, nothing would have happened. His usual driver would have said, "No, Phil, you promised," when he ordered a drink at the Grill early that evening; he would have said, "Come on, Phil, no drinking," when he ordered another one at Dan Tana's; he would have said, "Phil, you know how you get," and taken the next one away from him when they went to Trader Vic's. And later when Phil was downing Bacardi 150's and champagne at the House of Blues, the driver would have said, "OK, buddy, I'm taking you home now," and then later that night, when the gun went off, the driver would have said, "No problem, I'll take care of it". DON'T GO LANA DON'T GO

But instead Spector came out of his castle, gun in hand, and said to the substitute limo driver, "I think I just killed someone". Perhaps we will never know at what point the gun was drawn, who produced it, or why. We wonder what difference that makes in the scheme of things anyway. DON'T GO LANA DON'T GO

But we do know this special lady was shot in the face and when authorities arrived, Lana was dead as she sat waiting to leave, lying in a pool of blood in the marble foyer, while Phil Spector wandered about his house washing his hands and churning alibis, as the essence of life drained from her lovely body. DON'T GO LANA DON'T GO

Spector's long history - forever angry, selfish, impulsive, manipulative, depraved, indulged, appeased, self-centred, grandiose, pleasured by guns, and violent abuse of women was well-known in that strange place called Hollywood. Phil has never once been held publicly accountable for his actions. And because of his unaccountability how could Lana have imagined what lay ahead? DON'T GO LANA DON'T GO

Five years after the beast dragged the beauty to his lair on that winter night five years ago, little could she have known, he would finally snap ~ unable to handle his liquor, refusing to abide a simple rejection, one more door closing, one more pair of lovely footsteps skittering away, that there was so much to fear. DON'T GO LANA DON'T GO

This son of Satan, master of madness, demon of depravity, who would make the Marquise de Sade proud, still walks the halls of his Castle a free man. Manipulation of the system, countless legal tricks, he is still free. And those who loved the real Lana Clarkson sit and wait. Wait for the Justice that has to happen. Doesn't it? DON'T GO LANA DON'T GO

Among those who knew and loved the real Lana Clarkson, some mysteriously woke up at 2:21 AM, others didn't sleep at all. But all of us stand together to demand Justice. We will not forget, we will not rest until he sits behind bars and pays for distinguishing the light that was Lana. DON'T GO LANA DON'T GO

We light candles for Lana at: http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=lana

One special personal friend of Lana remembers with these lyrics:

Not Ready To Make Nice - Lyrics/Dixie Chicks

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting.

UNTIL THERE IS JUSTICE WE WON'T GO LANA ~~ WE WON'T GO

Thoughts on Sunday Bloody Sunday

Scott Peterson, O.J. Simpson, Phil Spector, Bobby Cutts, Drew Peterson, Cesar Armando Laurean - how many more?

WHY? WHY? WHY?

BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO!

Laci Peterson. Kathleen Peterson. Almost certainly Stacy Peterson. Nicole Simpson. Lana Clarkson. Christa Worthington. Those are just the famous ones. Maria Lauterbach. Amina Yaser Said. Sarah Yaser Said. Those are just the most recent "newsworthy” ones.

Fact: Women Murdered in the U.S in 2000 - recent yearly statistics available from the U.S. Department of Justice - more than 33 percent were killed by an intimate partner.

Fact: Nationally, homicide is a leading killer of young women—pregnant or not.

Must have missed the memo, because I thought we were supposed to be a civilized society, striving for improvement. We were supposed to be kind towards one other. War or attack aside, we were certainly not supposed to annihilate other human beings.

Instead, we seem to be in a place and time of unprecedented violence towards women and children. In a society that is completely hit-and-miss when it comes to convicting, imprisoning, or punishing the murderers.

Maybe it was always like this, but has the need to hammer it home for the 24 hour ratings-grabbing media reporting changed the program? It certainly feels as if our society has descended into some sort of collective psychosis - a violent whirlpool of rage, entitlement, and devaluation of human life.

Turn on any crime show (and I confess I watch some of them) and there are literally nonstop images of - mostly - women and young girls bound, tortured, pleading for their lives from behind their gags. Yes, the heroes and heroines are working feverishly to rescue these victims, but the camera always cuts back to those victims. And of course, women and children are much easier to target and victimize, on screen and off.

Have we become immune to the horrors of these acts and these images? I don't want to believe that this is what entertainment is, or that we have become a society so intellectually and spiritually impoverished that we think that as entertainment goes, so real life must follow.

Walking my dogs this morning, I had to pull hard to stop Sabre, an 80 lb. ball of fur, from going after a rabbit. That is instinct. Sabre doesn't see the rabbit as a living breathing creature with rights equal to his.

Humans are supposed to be more highly evolved. But if there is anything like an ethical evolutionary scale, we, the Human Race, are cashing in the chips, calling it a loss, and relegating ourselves to the lowest possible level imaginable.

From W.B. Yeats' poem "Slouching Towards Bethlehem": . . .

Things fall apart; the center cannot hold.
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity. . .

What wouldn't I give to disagree with Yeats?