A hint of possible abuse to someone I know from internet friendship has bothered me all day. Obviously it falls under the mind-your-own business Pirate and I will but allow me to share some observations about internet relationships in general.
Twenty years ago it was unimagined that people would be able to connect with hundreds, thousands, even millions of people all over the world through their magical internet connections. The internet has revolutionized how we communicate with the rest of the world. It has taken the role that newspapers, radios and televisions used to play and pushed it a step further. Internet encounters are living proof that we have become a part of a global village as the internet transcends provincial, national and international borders and boundaries.
In my nineteen years of being addicted to this internet thing, I have experienced personally, and watched others who have suffered the consequences of hurtful internet affairs, deception, fraud, manipulation, mental and sexual abuse online. Serious emotional pain and sorrow can be caused by such interactions.
INTERNET FRIENDSHIPS
Internet friendships can be healthy when shared by healthy individuals. In such scenarios people who normally would never have found one another can share common interests, hobbies and passions. As time passes these relationships may evolve and become part of a creative network that not only support and inspire but also challenge each other in a constructive way.
EMOTIONALLY-DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIPS
Internet relationships enter a slippery slope when one or both parties are emotionally needy and desperate. In the beginning the relationship provides a lot of support and fills the emotional vacuum but over a period of time one party becomes more and more demanding and the other party with all the good intentions cannot keep up with the need.
It is not uncommon for a needy person to project their unfulfilled desires and dreams and become obsessed with an internet relationship. Because the internet relationship feels very good, and very powerful, it can be a driving force that propels all thought, all feeling, and all motive. Some may abandon real-life relationships, some may not have those in real-life at all.
This need can lead to dangerous online (and offline) situations. Worst of all, it often causes irreparable damage to integrity, dignity, and reputation.
Sadly some people often wrongly interpret subtle nuances in voice and body language even when having a real-life physical conversation. In the surreal, artificial environment of the internet, those nuances are further limited by the inability to express them electronically. It's very easy for you - and the person with whom you are communicating - to misinterpret intentions and motive.
Others needs to live in the moment (without consideration of future consequences) can be real a problem, especially during periods of mania and depression.
The internet is filled with people whose poor self-esteem produces a desperate need for attention, friendship, and validation from other human beings. These feelings make some extremely vulnerable to internet stalking, manipulation, and deceit.
When afflicted with grandiosity, some believe they have absolute clarity and can do no wrong. All their decisions - even the horrifically bad ones - "feel right," and they all make perfect sense..
As an amateur student of human psychology, I observe the mystery and anonymity of internet relationships stimulates people’s imaginations. They start these relationships at the point where reality merges with fantasy. If both parties are pursuing the dialogue with good conscience then it enriches the relationship but if one or both parties are emotionally desperate or delinquent and interact with bad conscience then the chances of emotional hurt and pain is more.
Internet friendships can also be affected by the rapidity of the exchange. In many internet dialogues and interactions it is not uncommon for strangers to have multiple heated and emotionally charged exchanges in a short time. It is amazing to see how such exchanges can bring out the best and the worst in people and when the dark side starts to surface then people are vulnerable to be emotionally bruised and friendships are vulnerable to suffer temporarily or permanently. Some socially conscious websites make sure that their members are not abused by other members and have high ethical standards and independent and powerful mediators..
The internet can be a blessing or a curse. It can provide an opportunity for those who shy personalities are free to express comfortably. But the internet like any other medium can be as useful or hurtful as the people who use it. It is a privilege but it also comes with certain responsibilities.
Whether as friends or lovers, those who respect the power of words and feelings of other human beings benefit a lot from it. On the other hand it can be a dangerous tool in the hands of frustrated, angry and bitter people. Internet relationships are a new chapter in human evolution and are gradually developing its own dynamics and identity.
Be careful, be cautious, and enjoy. But remember, the person on the other side of that written word is a stranger. We teach our children STRANGER DANGER. Practice it on the world wide web as well.
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