Long ago and far away, in a land time has forgot, before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot.
There lived a race of innocents, known as you and me. Heroes were for praising, they were known to keep us free.
Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born, navels were oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.
We learned to gut a muffler, we washed our hair at dawn, we spread our crinolines to dry in circles on the lawn.
We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince, Eddie Fisher married Liz, no one's seen him since.
We danced to 'Little Darlin' sang with Sandra Dee, we cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me...Me.
Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many, only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney.
Only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see a boy named George with lipstick, in the Land That Made Me...Me.
We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice.
When they made a movie, they never made it twice.
We didn't have a Star Trek 5, or Psycho 2 and 3, no Rocky-Rambo 20 in the Land That Made Me...Me.
Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp, Reagan was a Democrat, his co-star was a chimp.
We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T, Oprah couldn't talk yet, in the Land That Made Me...Me.
We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go, at least not Bobby Darin or that sexy Marilyn Monroe.
Youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be, Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me...Me.
We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead, airplanes weren't named Jefferson, and Zeppelins were not Led.
Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees, Madonna was a virgin in the Land That Made Me...Me.
We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars, babies might be bottle-fed, but they didn't start in jars.
Pumping iron got the wrinkles out, 'gay' meant fancy-free, co-ed dorms NEVER! in the Land That Made Me...Me.
We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,
Microchips were little scraps, left in the bottom of the bag.
Hardware was a box of nails, bytes came from a flea, rocket ships were fiction in the land that Made Me...Me.
Buicks came in two-tone, cars all had those fins, side shows came with freaks, bathing suits were large enough to cover both your cheeks.
Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,
Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me...Me.
Crest had no flouride, there was no Hill Street Blues, no such thing as pantyhose, no primetime ads for condoms or herpes in the Land that Made Me...Me.
Murder trials were handled swift and fair, perps didn't whine and cry,
their daddy's ignoring their homework was not a reason why.
We went to stores to buy our stuff, no HSN or QVC.
We knew our neighbors, kids stayed in school, nothing special for a fee.
No golden arches, no Perrier to chill, no fish called Wanda, Halloween was our biggest thrill.
Middle age was 35, old was forty-three, ancient were our paunchy parents in the Land that Made me...Me.
All things have a season, or so we've heard them say.
Instead of using Helene Curtis or Maybelline we swear by Retin-A.
They use to flirt and kiss alot - now Cialis and Vicotin. I spose there is no more Lassie now, and no more Rin Tin Tin.
Now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans, and wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines.
We tell our children's children of the way it used to be, long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me...Me.
4 comments:
Good question - where did all the innocence go and when did I get so old not to notice
All of this reminds me of school. When we had to go every day -- when we had to do our homework or suffer the consquences. When we had to pass the class by learning, not just attending. When the Vice Principal was not someone you wanted to get a "Come to my office" note. But we learned skills, interpersonal relationships, responsibility, humility and fortitude. Now, the students have taken over and the teachers can do nothing about it...and this country is starting to feel the ramifications of this 'new' education system.
I've seen it all and loved some of it and am ready for whatever is ahead to add to the me that was influenced by all that has passed me by and flaked off to sprinkle me with history.
All I can say is that's what made me....me, too! What a delightful trip down memory lane.
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